|sady left today
||[Jun. 9th, 2005|01:39 am]
|||||postparaguay- but only the sad ones||]|
only feeling it just now.
dang its tough.
i cant even imagine oging back after 2 months, on an airplane by myself. gotta be a really difficult plane ride. imean we dealt with a 1 week trip and we were together-15 or so of us-on the ride back.and we bawled like babies. i sympathize a lot for her.
i didnt cry at the airport. that doesnt mean i dont love her. other people did cry- it was just so different for me, i dont know, it didnt hit me then.
im so glad she got to meet and really become friends with some of my best friends. knowing that at least a couple of them also genuinely appreciated her presence is fitting and feels right...
i feel like sady & i have both changed so much the past two months.imean shes seen so many knew things, experienced so much more-how could she not? i really feel i know her better now, really really. ive shared some amazing times with her here, somethign id never thought possible. in dahlias car- singing along, the night with the candles & james's surprise, the sleepovers were amazing, even fucking presi presi in the ci lounge... theres so much more. i mean i dont think i really have to list the good times, yet it feels like some kind of validation.cause i really havent hung out with her in a while in the same way as before, the past few weeks have been different between us. really, i havent figured out what made them so different, but it was and i know she felt it too.maybe thats why i didnt cry at the airport- i was still in past-3-weeks-mode, but its apparent now. now that i look back on the weeks before thepast few. they were some of the best in my life.
and when i couldnt see her cause of cruz- some of the hardest days of my life. i know its hard for some to understand, but im not exaggerating at all. the connection with the kids in paraguay for me, and for all of us who trraveled-youknow, dahlia, erika, gab, jordan, lindsey, etc...-its really hard to explain. so i wont. not because its not there just cause its too unexplainable.
anyways, im gonna miss the girl very much. im gonna miss most probably the pure bliss i felt when it was me gab her and dahlia just goofing around, laughing our asses off en la casa de dahlia or musica in dahls car or wherever-so happy. ... or that first night of freedom with all of us and erika. all of us together. it was amazing.
just cant believe its part of the past now.
for pictures at tuesdays farewell dinner and the airport... http://community.webshots.com/album/365033011LwMTqB